I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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