I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
