Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
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