Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
My liver just had a heart attack.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
