I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
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I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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