Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My vagina just recognized that song.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
