david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
