Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
