wakey wakey hands off snakey
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
