I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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