So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I deserve this hangover.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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