i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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