My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
