By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
