Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
