Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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