What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
