alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
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He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
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