...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
