I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
