She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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