i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Randomize
