fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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