i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
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