she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
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