Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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