p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
