if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize