so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
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I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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