let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
