i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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