I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
