So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
