brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
