why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
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I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
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The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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