The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
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the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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