Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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