If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
