WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize