I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.