Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!