My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??