Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
accomplished twins. life is a go
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
