Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
