Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
