no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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