So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
