at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
