Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
