just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
