Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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