A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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