Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize