Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
