This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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