I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
where are my eyebrows?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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