I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Randomize
