He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
