I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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